Rant: It Ain't Near Anything
I'll tell ya what has got me puzzled. That's this almost or near crap. I was listening to Pig talk about his military misadventures in Utah. He was talking about strip bars that don't show everything and near beer that doesn't go over 3 percent.
What the chomp? My daddy always said if you are going to do something, do it right. If you are going to chomp a swimmer, just don't take a leg, get all of him. Wasn't the old saying, anything worth doing is worth doing right? And, almost doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades? So what's the point in drinking if you are going to get almost drunk? And, what's the point of looking at strippers if they have clothes on? I mean, are you just suppossed to get a lil' horny. Not quite hard, but almost hard?
It's seems like we are creating a generation of sissies. Westlake was talking the other day about how overseas some 15 year old kid brought Hydrogyn a case of beer of one of their shows. So, overseas these kids can drink and probably even buy hookers and over here we are spreading near beer and banning smoking in bars. I mean, if a country wants to take us out in a few years, all they will have to do is put real beer in our water supply and even the hard core drunks won't be able to handle it.
So take it from ol' AJ, if you are going to do something do it right. Chomp, I just accepted light beer. I used to say if you can't handle the calories, you can't handle the beer. But then ol' AJ started gettin' a lil' beer gut. But anyway, I'm Alligator Jackson and I like my beer to have alcohol and my strippers to be naked!
