What The Beer You Drink Says About You
The kind of beer you drink says something distinctive about your personality. I'm Rocky The Beer Truck Driver and I oughta know. I started drinking at thirteen and have been hanging in bars observing drinkers most of my life. I see what type of beer people buy and when I see someone walking into one of the stores I service, I can predict what kind of beer they are going to buy. I may lug cases of beer for a living but I have the mind, heart, and soul of a pscychologist.
Flavored Beer
Someone that drinks flavored beer, or what I call 'not really beer' like Zima or Smirnoff, is a person that allows others to look into their soul. My beer-truck-driving, soul-reading eyes can tell something about that person. If you are a woman and you drop candy into the glass, it says that you are not really a beer drinker. You are just merely getting some alcohol into your system until you hit the club and start suckering guys into buying you expensive mixed drinks. If you are a man and you are drinking that 'not really beer,' it says "I'm here, I'm queer, and I don't like beer!"
Mils Best - The Beast
Hey, if you drink the Beast, it shows that size matters to you -- the size of the buzz. You are a quanity man, not a quality man. You want all of the beer your limited income can buy. As long as you have enough alcohol to make your head hurt the next day, you don't care if your tummy hurts while you drink it! You are also telling the ladies that you are a lazy slob and you are proud of it!
Budweiser and Bud Light
Budweiser is the King of Beers. You are proud and confident. You hold your head straight like you have a crown on it. You have the heart of a champion and you know that hard work makes you better. You work hard and play hard.
Michelob
Like the Bud drinker, you are a proud winner. Your nose is a lil' higher in the air, so your crown falls off the back of your head. But, you are a class act and women know it and appreciate it.
Import Beer
If you drink import beer, you are most likely wearing a name brand shirt. You are prentious and you like import beer because it fills you up, so you have an excuse to drink less. You know you can't hang with the big dogs and hope your arrogance fools everyone else.
Natural Light
If you are a Natural Light drinker, you are a kind of switch hitter. You like Natty Light because you are on a budget, but if you have some money in your wallet, you'll go up to Budweiser. Then again, if it is a day away from payday, you ain't to proud to drink the Beast. Chances are you save all of your Natty Light empties to buy more beer.
Lite Beer
If you drink Lite beer or any Miller products, you are a brave man. This beers are commonly used as floor stripper to take off wax. If too much is used, the place has to be evacuated for everyone's safety. You are a bold man to drink Lite beer. Of course, if you are a Miller High Life drinker, you may consider yourself half fish. Yeah, that's because Miller High Life is damn close to being water! In fact, it's so close a gold fish can live in a mug of Miller High Life.
Crocweiser
If drink Crocweiser, than you are a righteous dude and chances are you are a big Alligator Jackson fan. Like AJ, Crocweiser is King of The Swamp. If you like Croc, than chances are you understand why it should be The Westlake and Gastor Show instead of Westlake and The Pig.
Conclusion
Hey, any beer will work in a pinch but beer drinkers are a loyal bunch. Some people flutter around and drink different beers, but then again some people have different personalities or are bi-polar. Be careful because what brew you partake in reveals something about who you are and what you value. But as long as you drink beer, chances are you are a cool dude!
