Metal Love?
You have always been a metalhead. It has worked for you and looked good on you your whole life. When you were just a lil' metalhead, yoour friends were playing with action figures, while you had your Gene Simmons and Kiss action figures. On the first day of school every year, other kids were proudly sporting the brand new threads their mothers bought them at Sears. You were wearing the latest Iron Maiden tour shirt and proudly sporting Eddie's new pose. Later in life, in bars, you would hear political conversations. But, your idea of a great debate was who was the best Sabbath singer - Ozzy or Dio? Or perhaps who was the best Megadeth or Metallica? You love rock...Lived for rock. Rock made you work harder at work. The adrenalin flow made you more productive. Rock made everything better. Even beer! The louder the music, the more you drank. The more you rawked. Rock and beer makes the perfect party. Ahhhhhh cold beer - the colder the better. Ahhhhhh Loud rock - the louder the better. Metal has been your constant companion. Metal has always been there for you, except......What about sex. How has music helped you there? Very few girls like to be banged to metal. Unless you were one of the lucky ones who found a nice metal chic, how has that worked? Girls like soft sexy music that makes them feel all fuzzy. How did it feel when you cranked on some Judas Priest and the girl said "Ewwww... what is that?" She wanted to make love to Marvin Gaye or something sweet. Did you dress up in metal gear and scare her making her think you were trying some BDSM. Did she see you wearing leather and hightail her ass out of the room before you broke out a whip. Or did you make it to the love making then give her a concussion as you pounded her head into the bedpost keeping in time to Pantera. Did the adrenalin make you pound her just a lil' too hard. Or did just make you go all night rockin' to the beat until all she could do is whimper? Did she come back for more the next time wearin' a helmet. Yep, I'm sure women all around the world could testify that it's not easy lovin' a metal man.
